The Mother’s Influence on the Family

“When I look for family members, I yell!
I get excited and loud when I am happy. I also love to talk. My children also get loud when they are happy. When we sit down at the supper table, we become a noisy, happy family.” 

Author: Yara Cerna Young

Author: Yara Cerna Young

like to think of the mother as “queen” of the home. Queen is a high office, a position that carries considerable influence. The mother as “queen” of the home has a profound influence on the members of her family. She is like a thermostat; she sets the spiritual and emotional temperature of the home.

As evidence, I offer a family my husband and I have known for years. We are very close friends, but in actuality we have very little in common. My friend, the mother in that family, is a soft spoken, almost timid woman. She seldom raises her voice. When looking for her children, she won’t even raise her voice to call them! Instead, she goes from room to room looking for them. Her family is just like her in this respect. The children and husband sit quietly for their meals; they are generally soft spoken. They are a happy, quiet family.

On the other hand, my family is quite the opposite. I don’t have a whispering type of voice. When I look for family members, I yell!
I get excited and loud when I am happy. I also love to talk. My children also get loud when they are happy. When we sit down at the supper table, we become a noisy, happy family.

Each family reflects the personality of the mother. I remember waking up in the morning when I was a child. The first thing I would hear was the sound of my mother singing a hymn. Her singing told me that all was right with the world. Her singing brought me security. Her singing set the tone for my day. With a daily song my mother set her positive influence on me.

As a grown woman I now realize that my mother was singing every day as she was struggling with the twists and turns of life. I am sure that there were days she wanted to cry instead of sing, but she sang and it brought me comfort. Mothers can also have a negative influence on the feeling of the home. A depressed mother can twist the thermostat dial downward. Insecurity and confusion in the mother will haunt the family. A moody woman removes the sense of security family members need. No one knows when she will scream or when she will kiss and hug. Sure, some children have strong personalities that will withstand these conditions, but they are the exception and not the rule.

When I lived in Atlanta, Georgia, I had a friend who wore a tee shirt that said, “When mama ain’t happy, ain’t nobody happy.” It made all of us laugh, yet that phrase was filled with truth. The mother’s mood has a strong influence on the whole family. The mother’s influence is so powerful, she must be in tune with God so that her influence will always be Christ-like.

If a spirit of love and peace is desired in the home, it needs to start with the mother. The apostle Peter says that the best adornment for a woman is a meek and gentle spirit (see 1 Peter 3). This is the spirit that should reign in our homes.

This is certainly easier said than done. How do we develop that attitude? Let me list a few suggestions.

Learn to be content with what we have.

This is so easy to forget. Unwittingly, we fall into the rut of keeping up with the Joneses— after all, that is what society stresses.Screen Shot 2013-06-06 at 1.43.35 AM Without thinking, we start comparing what we have— our home, our college degrees, our cars—with those of everyone around us. As a result, we may get depressed. We may feel that the good things of life have passed us by. This will influence the family.

Learn to be happy no matter the circumstances.

We need to learn to be content not only with our level of wealth but also with our circumstances. We need to learn to be happy whatever our job, wherever we live, and any other situation.

Treat the husband with respect.

Few things are as unattractive as a woman belittling her husband or scolding him as if he were a child. We need to treat our husbands as we want to be treated. Our daughters are learning from us. How we treat your spouses will influence our daughters on how they should treat their husbands one day.

Remember that the husband is the head of the house.

Screen Shot 2013-06-06 at 1.43.43 AMSome wives may deal harshly and impatiently with their husbands because they  feel they make better decisions. There are cases where this may be true, but one must be careful not to remove the husband from his rightful, God-given position in the home.

Thank the Lord for our children.

During hard and hectic days, the children seem to get in our way. Their crying, their runny noses, and their silly arguments can make us irritable. An attitude of gratitude can temper an impatient spirit. Children are a gift from God. They are bone of our bone, flesh of our flesh, mirrors of ourselves.

Give the Lord His rightful place.

Screen Shot 2013-06-06 at 1.43.52 AMWhen we completely give our lives to the Lord and allow Him to be the center of the home, He will control our homes and our attitudes. Jesus says in in John 15:5, “Without me ye can do nothing.” All our best intentions will fail unless we give the Lord absolute sway in our lives. If we do this, the influence we have on our family will glorify God.As the queen of the home our influence is supreme. Only through God’s power can we become the mothers God wants us to be and in that way influence our families to live for His glory.

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